It's a small world after all...

It really is in the mind of Walt Disney. Small and strange and living in a colonial time warp!

When most people think of getting married and booking a honeymoon they think of an exotic destination. Of spending two weeks in a sun-soaked bliss. Two weeks somewhere remote where it is just the two of you.

We're not most people. This may be obvious with us marrying in Vegas and having a photo of the wedding party taken on a rollercoaster. 

After a final day, and the first day as a married couple, spent shopping and watching basketball in a sports bar at the Mandalay Bay we caught the "red eye" to Florida. A horrific six hours later we landed in a rain soaked Orlando and grabbed the Disney Magical Express to our Carribean Beach resort hotel. Shattered and unimpressed we checked into our themed hotel, to be told our room wasn't ready but we were being upgraded to one that was.

Sadly, that wasn't as spectacular as you would imagine it to be. We were faced with a pirate themed room that had two double beds that looked like ships, stacked crates instead of drawers and a bathroom separated from the rest of the room by a curtain that featured a large skull and crossbones on it. How romantic!

I had an amazing time during the ten days spent staying within the Disney World resort and I would encourage everybody to go and visit at some point. I'd just discourage them from taking kids. It is not a place for kids! Everyday we seemed to encounter more and more unhappy, overweight families who were annoyed with each other and everything that surrounded them. Three and four generations of family were all trying to convince each other they were there for their children when all the time they were there for themselves but couldn't enjoy it because then it would show.

Thanks to the fast pass tickets you can get from staying in a Disney resort I feel we made the most of our experience and did everything that we possibly could. We saw fireworks and light shows at the major parks, including the hugely popular Star Wars fireworks to celebrate May the 4th. We did every ride and show we could get away with without having children with us. Some we did more than once. We saw all of the parades including the Magic Kingdom parade day and night. We had a day by the pool because, sadly, we couldn't find space to sit at the water parks. We swam with dolphins and watched Shamu at Sea World. We saw wild animals on the safari and ate at the Rainforest Cafe at Animal Kingdom before having our photo taken under the tree of life and getting drenched on the rapids. We ate way too much food and consumed more fizzy pop than is healthy.

And we left with the message that America is great and better than the rest of the world... f*ck yeah!